Dell's Canadian Tails

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Dell on Being a Shit Heap

How do I reconcile to you the dear old gentleman, Dell, today, with the Dell who was a shit heap. No one uses that phrase much anymore, but you get the general meaning, I'm sure.

When I spend my time speaking to my grand-daughter's friends, or make a post online, I feel I have in some way put back the love in the world that I spent the better part of my life taking out, with little or no regard for those around me.

It wasn't that I was selfish in the sense that I kept material things to myself. Rather it was the motivation behind almost every decision: do what's good for Dell.

I believed I was the person I had been told I was as a child: Dell always followed the rules [religious, social and the like, at least outwardly] while making sure that as many of Dell's wants were served as possible. A delicate balance that required an enormous amount of energy: nice face: self serving.

It wasn't until fourteen-year-old Shelley arrived to live with me,when I was newly retired and turning sixty, that I accidentally saw who I really was and just what the price had been in maintaining this fictitious nonsense. Many of my contemporaries say, "He thinks too hard on life." It is some comfort to realize these are generally the ones who are sure there is a heavenly reward. They have their own sort of bliss, I guess, but miss the opportunity to be fully alive and truly know themselves in the one lifetime they are given.

This is why Eckhart Tolle's spiritual writing is hugely popular: it provides a new context, formerly generally acquired within institutionalized religion, by which one is able to experience his unique spiritual identity: his own mythology, if you will. Tolle's books and website provide enough materials to guide anybody through the bewildering rethinking of their lives. Many of you will have heard of  The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment and A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

For as long as man has endured, some men have experienced life in this manner, as reflected in the words of wisdom from numerous spiritual cultures. Eckhart Tolle has taken the breadth of that spiritual wisdom, laid it at the feet of the this and the next generation, proferring a framework whereby a man may reveal to himself his unique spiritual identity. An inspiring vision: A New Earth !

I almost missed life entirely until eleven years ago. My now is given to living in truth and loving those put in my path. Whatever time I have left will be directed toward love. There is nothing else.


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